Hooked on aikido

I first saw aikido in 1977, when some friends invited me to a demonstration in Chicago. I'd always had a fascination with martial arts--as an observer--but I'd never seen aikido, although I'd heard about it.

What I saw at that demonstration was amazing. The aikido movements were beautiful and graceful, and somewhat terrifying, all at the same time. The visual play of black and white cloth against the spartan elegance of the dojo had a strong aesthetic appeal.

After the first five minutes of the demo, I knew I wanted to learn to move like those people. I was disappointed to learn that I would have to travel at least an hour to the nearest aikido dojo. With a small child at home, being away so long seemed impossible. So I bought a book about aikido, and I decided that I would practice aikido . . . someday.

Eleven years later

I next encountered aikido in 1988. I'd just moved to Crystal Lake, Illinois, and found an aikido class in the local college's community education schedule. I observed a class and was pleased to discover that it looked very much like the aikido I'd seen demonstrated 11 years earlier. Unfortunately, while the aikido hadn't changed, I wasn't in very good shape. Aikido looked strenuous, and I hadn't done anything physical since I'd met my college physical education requirement by taking a folk dance class.

"I'll be back when I get in better shape for this," I told Jeff Clayton Sensei. I don't remember his exact words, but they had the tone of, "Yeah, sure." I know now that he'd heard similar promises many times before.

I finally get started

By the spring of 1990, I was 40 pounds lighter and in better shape than I'd ever been. My daughter was in high school, I was nearing my 41st birthday.

The aikido club now had a home with the local park district. I had four weeks to wait until the next session started, so I sent in my registration and bought a judo-gi. On the first night of class, I was the only beginner. I could have started at any time, but what was another four weeks after waiting 13 years?

The reality of aikido practice was wonderful and horrible. I'd spent a lifetime being reasonably good at whatever I attempted, mostly tasks that involved using my brain. Aikido, however, was mind and body, and my body didn't know how to learn in this way. There were very few other women in the dojo, and the guys were big and serious. I went home from practice in tears on many evenings, worried that I would never be able to do the aikido I'd been picturing in my mind for so long.

Gradually, I became a part of the dojo. I found jobs that needed to be done, and did them. We spent so much time together on the mat that the other members became some of my closest friends. We shared something that was important in all our lives.

Switching dojos

In 1996 I moved to Aurora, Illinois, and began practicing at Martial Arts Training Service with Maureen Browne Sensei. I'd practiced as a guest there several times in the past, so I knew it was a comfortable yet serious place to practice aikido.

I wasn't quite prepared, however, for coping with the USAF Western Region "accent" to the techniques. In some ways, it was like learning a second language, much harder than learning aikido for the first time. The biggest differences were in the basic techniques, those motions I'd practiced repeatedly for six years. Here were new ways to do ikkyo, iriminage, shihonage. Some of the techniques had different names. Worse, my ukemi was all wrong, and I could no longer fall effortlessly without thinking about what I was doing.

At first I went through an inner rebellion: "Why do I have to change everything I've worked so hard to learn? What's wrong with the way I do things? I'll never fit in here." After a month or so I was able to regain my "beginner's mind" and put aside many of my old patterns of movement in favor of the new way. Of course, when I don't think about what I'm doing, something Midwestern comes out. My aikido may forever be a hybrid, but I hope to be able to take the styles I've learned and fuse them into my own aikido.

Practice is the key

I believe that the most important lesson I've learned from aikido is the value of commitment. I have never been athletic and am not well coordinated, but I have been able to progress in aikido through showing up regularly for class. While I may not have the speed and stamina of a younger person, I have stuck with aikido for many years of regular practice. My advice to new students who seem unsure about their progress is, "Just keep practicing." Like the tortoise in that famous race, slow and steady is the key.

There are many reasons to begin the practice of aikido, and many more reasons to continue practice. In the beginning, I had an idealized image of aikido. I wanted to move gracefully and fluidly, to participate in a unique cultural experience, to be part of a dojo community. Now I practice because I can't conceive of what not practicing would be like. Aikido has brought depth and purpose to my life.

Martial Arts Training Service
Here's where I practice aikido.

Birankai North America
The Birankai is the parent organization of the USAF-WR (I think).

Aikido World Journal
My friend Cheryl Matrasko, who teaches aikido at Northwestern University's Chicago campus, developed this site to share information about aikido.

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